Pepper's thoughts on work, inlaws, and life

Monday, January 31, 2005

Five monkeys fighting over a banana

That was the scene at my work today. And I don't want want to be one of the monkeys.

Working in marketing, I'm a stickler for certain things. When you create a marketing campaign, you should write it down. It should include a target audience, a specific message, and a way to measure its success.

So I'm at this meeting about creating "synergy" - I swear to God they said that - between three separate departments at my work that market to distinctively different customers (all under the umbrella of the employer). And now I am headless, because it was bitten off when I asked how they planned to measure the success of this marketing plan that is not written down.

Now, I doubt anyone is still reading this, but I'm going to continue this vent anyway. Pepper's rules on marketing success include the following:
1. Since most people can't read other people's minds, you should write down your plan.
2. Since marketing is all about selling to your customer, you should decide who is your customer and write that down, too.
3. Since marketing has a purpose, you should decide what yours is and write that down, too.
4. Oh, and if you can't measure whether or not your plan is working, you're doing it wrong.

Literally, my life is turning into a Dilbert cartoon. Really, I have this Dilbert cartoon cut out on my desk that addresses this very subject. Do you think if I annoymously sent it to the retards I have to deal with at work they would know it's me? It may seem like they would know it's me, because I'm the only one who seems to believe in target marketing. But they are retards, afterall..... Food for thought.

Friday, January 21, 2005


I heard a really good soundbite this week on NPR. A protester to Bush's little Washington party said, "Soldiers are dying in Iraq. Enjoy your champagne." I thought it was profound. If Bush had heard it, I bet he'd think, "Oh, okay. Thanks."